Until you came (Series Stonebridge, #3) Read online

  “That's impossible. We couldn't.”

  I want information and his best friend has what I'm looking for, so I keep digging. I'm the little sister and I know perfectly well how to be the most annoying one among the most annoying ones.

  “Please, tell me what you know," I make the eyes of an abandoned puppy to soften him. If I want to help Reed I need more than a small piece of the whole cake. Between the two of us we can free him from the past that overwhelms him so much. We can change his life and help him overcome anything, but for that I need to know what I’m getting myself into.

  Suraj moves nervously and I decide to counterattack.

  “You're like a brother to him, don't you want the best for his life?”

  “Anne," he sighs as he scratches his head. "You know I'm on your side and I want you to rescue him, but I've betrayed Reed too many times already. I helped you escape to Italy even though I knew it would destroy him, I asked you to come to the hospital dispite the shock your presence will cause him. Don't ask me anymore. What he wants or doesn’t want to confess is something that only he can decide.

  I bow my head in defeat... for the now. The first attempt lost but it won't be the last. Self-esteem gets ready to go to war.

  “The doctors in charge of Olivia have just left, but Reed is still inside”, he changed the subject.

  “Any improvement?”

  “From their faces, I guess not. I'm afraid Olivia's situation will shut him up even more in himself.”

  “Does he love her that much?” I whisper in a low voice.

  I bite my tongue but it's too late, I've already said it. The fear of my voice betrays my eternal insecurities. I just looked like an unstable madwoman. Good for me! Self-esteem falls on her face as she tries to kick her own ass.

  “I can only assure you that he won't be an easy cake.

  “He never was.”

  “Anne...” Suraj stops talking and fear runs down my back. What does he want to tell me?

  “Yes?”

  “I'm not sure how to tell you this, but since you'll find out for yourself, I better tell you first.”

  Silence settles again between us and I feel how the hysteria curls up even the last strand of my hair.

  “Please, you're killing my nerves. Stop being so suspenseful and spill it once and for all.”

  “You see, the accident gave Olivia a deep coma and it led her to a vegetative state. The blow caused her irreversible brain death.”

  “I didn't think it was so serious...” I cover my mouth with my hand in disbelief of what I heard.

  “The doctors don't think she will survive but they will try to maintain her vital signs by means of an artificial respirator. They need her to stay stable for at least two months more.”

  “Do they think she can recover in that time?” I answered hopefully. We were enemies for the love of the same man but I am not so bad as to wish her death. I really want her to recover.

  “That's not it.”

  “Then?” Suraj moved uncomfortably without saying a word.

  “Whatever you have to say to me, delaying it doesn't make waiting any better.”

  “You're right. Let's see how I say it in soft words... “

  “Suraj!”

  “All right, don't get upset. Olivia is pregnant.”

  My body freezed and my mind is clouded. A baby? But how is that possible? I saw the result of the predictor myself.

  “But the test was negative. Besides, if she had four months when the bachelorette party, and it's been more than six months since I left, I don't understand it... it can't be. The counts don't match...

  “Anne.”

  I don't listen to him, I just keep thinking and counting the months. It's not possible, it's not his son. She has deceived him.

  “Unless...”

  I look at Suraj with tears in my eyes waiting for him to deny what I don't want to face.

  “Is Reed the father?”

  I drop into the cold plastic visitor benches, feeling like a dagger stuck in my back and takes my last breath away. I thought that nothing could stop me, I was willing to fight against everything and everyone, but a baby? I thought that he loved me, I thought that he was hurt, that he had misunderstood my departure but once we saw each other, once he tuched me again, he would realize that he was wrong. I dreamt that he would run into my arms but now he is expecting a baby, a child, the result of a love that is not mine...

  “Why?”

  “Anne, when you left he lost his will to live.”

  “He promised me, he said he didn't love her. He said it was a marriage of appearance only.”

  “Your loss drove him crazy and...”

  “And that's why he ran to her bed!”

  I squeeze my fists and let my nails pin me hard. The pain is not even as hard as the suffering of his betrayal. Olivia is pregnant and they are awaiting two months for their baby to be born. Jesus Christ! It didn't take him two days to look for comfort in her body. I want to scream, push, kick and cry. My chest closes and the cold runs through my hands. I feel hurt and stupid, immensely stupid.

  “Anne, Olivia's pregnancy doesn't change anything.”

  “Oh no! Are you really saying that? A baby, a baby!”

  “You're not seeing things clearly.”

  “Damn it, Suraj. He lied to me! He said he loved me more than anyone and threw himself into her arms as soon as I turned the corner. He forgot all his promises and each one of his demonic caresses. I believed him... he kissed me... and I believed him, he promised me his love and... I believed him... I believed him...

  “But you're sleeping with Maurizio!”

  Suraj's infamous accusation perplexes me. I open my tearful eyes, frightened by the accusation.

  “I'm not sleeping with Maurizio! I'm not in love with him, I've never been in love with him. he's also very different, he's just a kind and affectionate man who offered me his friendship when I needed it most.”

  “What gave you comfort and for which you only feel grateful?”

  “Exactly”, I answered too quickly and Suraj smiles for his victory. “I hope that coming to your senses will let you see that sex rarely has anything to do with feelings, and that men can feel the same way you do”, He spit badly before leaving.

  I breathe agitated in the seat trying to calm down. The accusation has reached my soul. Too much, I would say. It is clear that for Maurizio I only feel a deep affection but I cannot deny that if I had stayed in Italy the distance between my body and his bed would have narrowed.

  I fall submerged in my own darkness and I am not able to think and although Suraj tries to make me feel guilty, I can't, damn it! I do not expect a son from another man and much less I threw myself into his arms when I was still carrying the caresses of another in my body.

  God, jealousy gnaws at me until I lose my mind. I am incapable of seeing anything other than the two of them lying in their bed. I imagine Olivia with her love face as Reed caresses his wife's rounded tummy with his hands. I can't stand it! I pull my hair trying to get rid of the image that goes through my head over and over again, like an old love movie.

  Why did I have to leave, why wasn't I able to fight for what I wanted, why did I have to lose it? I let tears run down my face while I try to find an explanation that will help me not to sink into the most absolute despair. When I saw him in that wheelchair, alone, so destroyed, I felt the complete need to embrace him and tell him everything I felt for him. I wanted to show him that the last few months have only been a continuous mistake and that I am willing to make amends for each and every one of my actions, but now everything is so different... Her marriage is not a simple farce, she is expecting a son, a son who wants to survive. A baby who will have her mother's smile, her father's beautiful eyes and nothing of mine.

  Without me

  “Miss, would you like to come in?”

  A kind nurse holds the door to room 404 of the Intensive Care Unit. How long exactly have I been in a catatonic state?
My leg’s cramps say it all as I stand up.

  “I don't know what to do," I answer hesitantly.

  “Well, I leave it open for when you make up your mind," she says with a kind smile and leaves.

  “ Thank you.”

  My mouth is soggy and my voice is barely coming out of my throat.

  I've cried so much sitting here that I haven't been able to think about what’s right or wrong. I want to go in, I want to be by his side, I want to see him, touch him, feel him... No matter how much damage I receive from his actions, I always want to be by his side. His company is like a drug that doesn't release me. I keep thinking about a future together even though anger and jealousy run through my body. I look at my hands and notice how they tremble. Doubt angers and chickens me at the same time. Did he fall in love with Olivia enough to ask her to have a child? Is that creature the fruit of a stronger love than ours? Have I lost him forever? Which one is the right path?

  A sad and desolate voice resounds from inside the room and it needs no introduction, I would recognize that deep and rough sound anywhere.

  I rise like a sailor haunted by the song of his mermaid. I walk to the door thinking of nothing but the desire to see him. His voice is a fine thread that pulls me without resistance; I simply go where my owner calls me. No matter how much pain he causes me, my feelings for him never change. His gaze hypnotized me the first day I saw him and from that moment on I am a slave of his love.

  I walk a few steps slowly and lean against the door frame. My cowardice denies me the gift of the word and my nerves do not allow me to walk much more. I simply hear him sobbing. He is turning his back on me, in his wheelchair with his head down. His black hair is even shinier than before and my fingers move to the sides of my body aching for the need of caressing him. The room is icy white and I feel the silence of death in every corner where I look. Jealousy made me believe something very different from what I have in front of me. What I see is far from being a postcard of a married couple in love. Come on! Now, besides being deceived, I feel stupid. How can I be so silly not to realize the severity of the situation? Olivia is dying and her baby is trying to survive while I am only able to think about my feelings. Is there anyone more selfish than me?

  The picture couldn't be sadder and heartbreaking. A beautiful young woman with a bulging belly is covered by huge tubes that, attached to a large machine, sound like giant lungs. They try to keep her alive and give an opportunity to an innocent baby who didn't ask to be born.

  Life and death are battling to see who wins and room 404 is the field of helplessness and desolation. Reed in his wheelchair rests his forehead on the mattress as he strokes his wife's hand. He speaks softly like a sinner seeking a forgiveness that never comes. He has not discovered my presence and I have no courage to break into that scene.

  Forgive me. It's all my fault, I should have taken you out of the city much earlier... I'm the one who should be in that damn bed. You didn't deserve it... You only wanted to be by my side, you only asked for a little love... you don't know how sorry I am. I am the worst of men. A damn selfish man incapable of loving and whom you thought you could rescue... You should never have loved me... I should have never allowed it. You had to get away from me, I am not good for anyone, pain and suffering are all I know, look what I have done to you.

  I shouldn't be listening to this, I don't want to listen to it. His pain tears me apart. His words hurt me. I squeeze my face enduring my own grief.

  I asked you not to love me, I pretended that you would forget me and I was stupid enough to believe that you would understand... If I could have loved you, if everything had been different. My head wanted it but your caresses were not...

  I have to go, I can't stand it anymore. Tears are strangled in my throat. My chest tightens and I can't breathe. I don't want to listen to him ask another woman for forgiveness. I can't stand to hear his regrets for the past, our past. What woman would have the strength to hear the love of his life apologizing to a woman who isn’t her? I turn to leave as his voice rises and hardens with each of his words.

  I couldn't love you because I never forgot her. My cold heart once beat and thought that it was able to live for her but she left and took everything away... Isn't that right, Anne?

  I close my eyes as I lean my face against the door, turning my back on him. I was about to leave again but I refuse to excuse myself, he would never understand the enormous storm I’m dealing with.

  “How did you know I was here?” I sob and swallow my last tear.

  “I felt you at the very moment you walked through the door. Your perfume is one of the many things I can’t forget.”

  “Reed, I...”

  I hear a sound of wheels and I turn to see how he moves with difficulty towards me. I approach trying to help him but he raises a hand and looks at me with so much coldness that I stop instantly.

  “I don't need your help or your compassion. I thank you for visiting but you can leave now," he says with anger as he asks me for space to go out.

  “We need to talk.”

  My voice is barely coming out. I am nervous. Before I feared his rejection but now I fear much more his indifference. He looks at me like a stranger and his blue eyes show more emptiness and loneliness than I have ever seen. I close the door of the room 404 behind him and I am ready to follow him when he stops in the middle of the corridor.

  “Do you want to talk? Now do you want to talk? What exactly do you want to talk about? Are you going to explain why did you abandon me?”

  “I didn't abandon you. I couldn't stay...”

  “You couldn't stay? I asked you to stay, I begged you to wait for me. I asked you for a little bit of time, but no. You left without looking back. You didn't care about me or my stupid new feelings.”

  “You chose her, you married her... You can't blame it all on me.”

  “I couldn't avoid it, you were in danger!”

  “But I wanted to decide, you had no right to choose for me. The danger would have never mattered to me when I was by your side.”

  “Are you blind?!” Don't you know where we are? Did you want to be in Olivia's place? Did you think I could continue with my life if something happened to you? Anne, you never believed in me or what I was feeling.”

  “No!”

  “Go away and don't come back.”

  “No, I won't run away again, I promise, I want to be by your side, please don't reject me...”

  “What we had is in the past. Forget about me as I forget about you.”

  “Don't say that...” I sob desperately as I face him with tears all over my cheeks. “I was wrong, I admit it, I was afraid, jealous, in pain and twenty thousand other things, but now everything is different. I love you and I don't want to leave.”

  “But I don't,” he moves his chair to dodge me while I'm petrified in the place. “Goodbye, Anne.”

  “No! I don't accept it," I scream desperately as he goes away. “I'll be back. You know you love me, we’re not over. You're hurt and you don't know what you're saying.”

  He doesn't turn around, he doesn't answer, he doesn't look at me, he just leaves me behind with the worst of my nightmares. If he has stopped loving me, then what's the point of mornings?

  One More Assault

  “You're completely crazy! We'll never get out alive...”

  “You coward bastard, stop walking like a caged rat.”

  Watchmaker cleans his bloody razor with the largest patient of all while resting on a solid wooden desk. Meanwhile, Marc walks furious from one side to the other.

  “Fuck... Fuck! We'll never make it out of this one alive.”

  “Stop walking or you'll stain your shoes," says with a malicious smile.

  “Shit!”

  The body’s blood on the floor spreads out into a huge puddle, which widens more and more as the hands of the clock move slowly.

  “Nobody knows we're here. This is a rented office that Misha barely used. Don't be an idiot, you know I had
no choice. The asshole wanted revenge for the death of his colleague.”

  “You shouldn't have killed them. None of them...”

  Marc pulls his hair trying to wake up from a nightmare that refuses to abandon him.

  “Now we don't need any damn Russian to achieve our plans. Come on, boy, stop crying like a girl, you know as well as I do that Misha was a pain in the ass. Sooner or later we had to remove it.”

  Watchmaker began to collect some scattered photos on the desk and quickly store them in a brown envelope.

  “And now what?”

  “We'll steal Cleopatra's Jewels and live like kings.”

  “What about Blackman?”

  “Fuck, boy. Are you afraid of a cripple too? You Don’t have to worry about him, listen to me.”

  Watchmaker puts the envelope inside his briefcase with great care while he throws to his companion's face some keys that he catches in the air at the same exact moment they were about to hit him in the middle of his eye.

  “Open that closet and erase the recordings.”

  Marc lowers his head nodding and avoids looking at the floor not to throw up. Misha's neck was cracked from end to end. The body that fell half way down showed each of the veins open and now completely empty. Watchmaker had slit his throat in cold blood. His enormous complexion or his great musculature didn’t matter, the big man had no chance. The loyal pupil fulfills the orders, hitting and breaking the cameras, and burning the memory card before asking curious questions:

  “How will we locate the storage where Cleopatra's Jewels are hidden?”

  “Anne Foster, she will open the way for us.”

  Marc feels that his heart stops at the very moment he hears her name.

  “No! Not her.”

  Marc, with a strength he didn't know he had, tries to throw himself on Watchmaker's body, but he quickly dodges it and lets Marc fall on the ground over the large pool of blood while laughing with a scary laugh.

  “Don't tell me you're still in love with that stupid insecure woman. That idiot deserved every one of the beatings John gave her. That was a real man, a pity I had to kill him, too.”